8/1

Sup ya'll! This is Mike holdin' it down in the Bay, bitches! I would like to personally welcome myself to this blog and your 21st century lives. This is a groundbreaking moment for you, as well as myself.

Anyway, here's the scoop:

August 1st = day off! So basically we have an estimated 6.5 hour drive to Sanfran on a bus that just won't quit. We spent the entire day harvesting vegetable oil with or without permission from small asian restaurants. Oh dear, did we get a shitload! ....hmmm. What else happened yesterday....I'm forgetting something...

ATTACK OF THE HIPPY HOBBIT!!!!

Seriously, dude looked like a fucking baked potato.

We were parked in Santa Barbara, filling the bus with oil when we were approached by a shirtless man-imal sporting a miner's flashlight on his head. It seemed as though it was another harmless, yet irritating and insignificant road bump: small talk over the bus, traveling, musical instruments (....some fictional)...and then things got weird...

We were given some applications for music confidentiality and given a much too detailed lesson over covering our artistic asses. Every few moments this burnt-out crazy would mutter some horror-movie-esque dialogue that seemed to foreshadow a grim end to the day, and our existence. Some examples: "I'm gonna go get my axe..", "You guys aren't goin' anywhere today.."

On a sidenote, the ogre donated a bag of weed and an envelope of salvia, in which he commented: "1000x, to keep the demons away."

After a second trip back into his hobbit hole apartment, it was time to leave. We entered the bus, and prepared to take off, when suddenly, Mr. Mole came scurrying out of his door pointing and yelling, eventually halting the bus.  The man ranted and accused us of stealing his "strat"....and then his "schecter diamond series" guitar.  And for some odd reason, he specifically accused myself of the evil deed (which would have been pretty sweet to do, anyhow).  After standing in front of the bus (which is now perpendicular to and blocking the street) and a yelling match, Nate from Gifts decides to attempt some sort of reasoning with the crazy fucker.  This, fortunately, allowed Judd, also from Gifts, to maneuver the bus around and follow through with the escape. 

And honestly, everything after this incident seems completely insignificant to speak of.

Fuck it.

- Michael